Monday, April 11, 2011


Got up at 0515 to get my swim in early today.  Apparently my body decided to sleep for most of my swim today and I definitely felt like it.

1000 warmup
500 pull
5 x 200 kick
5 x 200 (50 kick, 100 swim, 50 kick)
500 swim
4000 total   I got the yards in but felt the workout was pretty useless considering how my body was moving and my level of motivation.

OK  Something else has been bothering me that hopefully writing it down will help ease the anger.

1. I have NO problem with fat women swimming.  I never make fun of fat people working out because you never know how far they have already come along or if this is the first day of them turning their life aruond.  If you are a woman and weigh 250 lbs, I will gladly share a land and watch you swim 1/5 MPH.  All I ask is that you DON'T WEAR A BIKINI!!!
2.  For the love of Pete, it's a POOL, not a Relief Society or Elders Quarum meeting.  You are there to SWIM.  Don't stack 2-4 people at the end of the land then stand there TALKING for 10 minutes at a time all the while refusing to MOVE when I approach to do a turn.  You are only tempting me to flip turn late so I kick you in the face!
3. Old Women - Wash that HORRIBLE perfume off that is actually chocking me while I'm trying to breath!  I have no idea what body odor you are trying to cover but if it takes 1/2 bottle of your perfume to cover it, you might want to see a Dr. about it.
4. There is a lap section (CLEARLY marked by lane lines) and a WADING section. (The big open area outside of lane lines)  Please learn what each one is for!
5. If you physically dive OVER the Do Not Dive sign for your entry, you are RETARDED!  We have enough handicapped people taking all the good parking.  Don't need to add more becuase of stupidity.

Please add to this list of grievances as you wish.


  1. Nice list! All of them are valid complaints. In relation to #1, I'll be the first to admit that speedos in general are pretty creepy. Regardless of body type. I definitely do NOT like being seen in them. If I'm with the kids at the pool or on vacation and not doing laps, I will NEVER wear a speedo.

  2. Gords, this was a BIKINI for women not a speedo. I could care less about a speedo. I actually shared a lane with a "larger" woman and she was wearing an actual bikini. It was horrible!

  3. Ha ha! This cracked me up! I also stole your workout (and modified it a bit) for today.