Friday, September 27, 2013

27Sep13 - Tough Decision

The weather has turned bad the past few days.  Air temperature at night has dropped faster than expected and cold rain has come with it.  The temperatures in both Deer Creek and the GSL have dropped drastically in the past week.  Right now, Deer Creek is 58 degrees.
The GSL was 72 last week and now it is 61!  I also have not been feeling 100% lately.  I have been sick, then my wife has gotten sick, and my kids are not 100% either.  It is just a bad time for colds in our house.  My training has suffered and with all of these, I decided to scratch my 10 mile swim for tomorrow.  I had a paddler set up but I am not mentally comfortable with doing a swim of this distance and in water this temperature with someone I do not know.  If Gordon or Josh were my paddler, then I would do it.  They are not and I do not feel comfortable putting myself in possible danger and thus my paddler in possible danger.  It is not safe and I need to be wise about it.
I think I can officially declare my open water swimming year of 2013 closed!  The window has shut and my 2nd Utah Triple Crown is gone.
To be honest, I am a bit bummed by this.  I have been tough on myself this past year with training and getting myself back to "how I was last year".  I have never come CLOSE to being how I was last year before I got sick and I have not cut myself any breaks for it.  I have been unrealistic in what I could accomplish and completely unfair to myself on where I am compared to where I wanted to be.
I got a couple of true marathon swims in this year and instead of being happy with that, I am focused on not achieving another goal that in all honestly is made up!  The UTC is a made up accomplishment!  I guess I felt that if I did another UTC then it would prove I was back and that my illness really didn't do that much to me.  I have been ignoring the mirror to really look at myself and realize that:
1) I nearly DIED last year!
2) Another UTC does NOTHING to prove who I am or what I'm capable of as a swimmer
3) There is always next year.  I need to focus on new goals and not repeat things I have already done.  Find the next golden ring!

Winter swimming is coming up and I am really looking forward to my weekly swims with my WFPBC buddies.  The swims we do each week and the fun we share means more than I am able to write.  I may do another ice mile but who knows.  If I do not....who cares!

I want to thank everyone for their support of me this past year.  The marathons of this year are gone and I need to find some new goals.  I have some ideas in my mind and next year I will be ready to do some amazing swims and share more swims with my friends and the ones I love.

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